In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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