I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
false alarm. still invincible.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sex in the backyard? Check.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
