i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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