apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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