you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
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Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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