you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
