the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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