Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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