Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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