i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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