We named our party play list daddy issues
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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