My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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