If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
either way he was missing a nipple.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
