What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Randomize
