It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize