hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
