your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
