i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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