The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
