god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
