I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
