why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
