he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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