omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
