Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
they need to just BURY HIM!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
