capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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