***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
