i don't like sucking hair
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
50% drunk capacity currently
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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