Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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