I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
BRING THE BAGELS
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
