I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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