He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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