So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
