Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize