so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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