Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
