There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
