He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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