I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
