put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
