How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
