my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
