Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
