I bet he comes in French.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
