Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
