remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
