During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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