Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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