OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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