chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
