I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
