i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my being single is dangerous.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
