If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
