doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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