I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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